Everyone has problems, small and big. What is a big problem for you maybe a small one for me, and what’s small for you, maybe big for me, depending on our genetic makeup, our social circumstances, believes, values, way of thinking and our different upbringing or just the way we look at the world.

When you fall off your bicycle while riding it, you pick yourself up, lift that cycle off the road, brush off that dirt, and you are on your way. When you trip and fall while walking or running, you ignore the sudden jolt, get up, brush it all off as something normal, and you get going. When you nick yourself with a kitchen knife, you wash the wound, put on a BandAid, and you are as good as before.

What do these examples tell us? Simply that we can train ourselves to solve our own problems.

Everyone has problems, small and big. What is a big problem for you maybe a small one for me, and what’s small for you, maybe big for me, depending on our genetic makeup, our social circumstances, believes, values, way of thinking and our different upbringing or just the way we look at the world.

While almost everyone can handle minor physical problems, not everyone is equipped to handle emotional and psychological problems like depression, anxiety, anger, suicidal thoughts, or impulsive behaviour. So people with these issues often seek a therapist or consultant or psychologist. But unless it is‘serious’ and you can find a way out of it on your own- you can be your own consultant for most of the problems that bother you. All it needs is a just a bit of soul-examination and introspection. Here are a few tips what to do in such turbulent times:

• Ask yourself the five Ws: what, when, where, why, and who. Suppose you have a problem, ask yourself what the problem is, when does it occur, where does it occur, why does it occur and who makes it occur. Once you have the answers to these, you get a clearer picture of your problem, making it easier for you to find your own solutions to it.
• Some problemssuch as overcoming a heartbreak, death or minor depression can be addressed by listening to music, dancing, taking part in dramas, taking up painting or sculpting or just writing down your thoughts.These help release stress and pent-up emotions and make you feel lighter. These also help you deal with your dark inner thoughts.
• Focus on what you have, rather than worrying about what you want and what others have.
• Be less demanding and less of a boundary builder; sacrifice the forced “shoulds” in your life and that of others around you to make it easier for yourself and others. Tear down the boundaries and be more accepting and lenient.
• Let go of your resentments. Don’t cling on to what is done. What’s over is over; move on.
• Embrace positivity. Keep away negative thoughts, actions and feelings. Happiness doesn’t come to you, you have to go out and make it happen for you. It’s out there and yours to create it.
• Make sure that you surround yourself with positive people and avoid negative people.
• Be patient with yourself. Once you have analyzed your problems and found  solutions, give yourself time to execute them.
• Get some support from a person which is neutral, like a Coach. A person who do not have it’s own targets with you in mind, a person who is listening rather then putting their own needs and wants on you.

Between all your problems, you might forget that some people around you look up to you, observe you and probably idolize you. It may be your spouse, children, family, friends, colleagues or just some stranger you met along the way. Help them and be there for them, be the role model. Once you realize that you could be someone’s role model, it gives you a sense of responsibility that makes you your own boss. It makes you in charge of yourself and teaches you how to be your own consultant in both peaceful and turbulent times.

Remember, always go back to those values that have made you who you are. Stick to those values that have given you your “happy place” in your mind. Also remember that what can’t break you can only make you stronger.

Note that you do not need to do all alone, you have people who can support you and professional help is often the very fast and very benefitial way.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in the article above are those of the authors' and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of this publishing house