Encourage children to take up sports. Never ask your little girl to give up on her dream to become an astronaut or discourage your boy from learning ballet if that is what he likes

One day my 4-year-old came home and casually said ‘Mum you are a nurse’. I said ‘No baby, I am a doctor’. He insisted that I wasn’t or couldn’t be a doctor. Wanting to know the reason behind his thinking, I explored further and pat came the reply- ‘My teacher says Men are doctors and ladies are nurses’ Prejudices are built into young minds by society and as parents and teachers, we have a very responsible role of trying to imbibe a culture of equality and respect for all genders.

In India, we are subject to centuries of regressive social conditioning. Girls are taught to be submissive, polite, avoid confrontation at the expense of personal expression, learn to set a table from a young age and are encouraged to ‘help in the kitchen’. Boys, on the other hand, are ‘dad’s helpers’. When there is a birthday party, instinctively we rush to sections like dolls and kitchen sets for girls and superheroes or cars for boys. There is no denying that there are innate differences that children are born with but we only encourage it further.

Is it then surprising that we have girls lacking in self-esteem and boys who think that they are invincible? A surefire recipe for disaster. If we want to change the way our young men treat girls, the sheer lack of respect, the crude jokes under the guise of ‘locker room banter’, then we need to start early. Self-esteem, respecting privacy and gender sensitivity have to be integrated into the psyche of children as they grow. Biological sex, gender identity, and gender roles are different things. Children start forming gender identity at the age of 2-3 years which means that they identify themselves to be girls or boys but gender roles are what society expects them to do as girls or boys and that is where a change needs to happen. 

Why and how is gender sensitization so important for mental health?

Worldwide, women assume an unequal burden of care and household responsibilities. This role imbalance can lead to high levels of stress and less time to enjoy balanced lifestyle habits which can support mental wellbeing. Lower income due to ‘pay gap’, unequal social status, more exposure to traumatic events such as sexual trauma all leads to women being at a higher risk for mental health concerns such as anxiety and depression. Stigma has been shown to be a barrier to accessing timely mental health care. Women can face additional stigma, for example, fears that their parenting abilities may be unfairly judged. Bold actions are not only necessary to achieve a more gender equal world, but they are also necessary for a mentally healthier world.

The starting point is the start with ourselves and challenge our own beliefs and prejudices when it comes to gender roles. ‘Homemaker and home breaker’ are both associated with women whereas ‘bread earner’ is a man role. As adults, lead by example. Nothing works better than seeing your parents or teachers questioning the traditional gender role. If a child has seen his or her dad cook or help out in the kitchen, it becomes a norm for them. 

Start respecting your own individuality and then respect that of others. Try and use gender neutral or sensitive language and toys. Challenge any biases when you come across them. Get your children to do the house chores equally so both boys and girls need to clean up after making a mess. 

Encourage children to take up sports. Never ask your little girl to give up on her dream to become an astronaut or discourage your boy from learning ballet if that is what he likes. Allow your children to express their feelings including encouraging boys to cry and girls to rage and rant. Encourage your children to play with kids of the opposite sex, this helps them familiarize with the opposite sex and in turn emphasize and learn to respect them.

Overall, this mentality in children can only be changed when we change it in the adults around them. So yes it took some effort including a chat with his teacher but at least my child now knows I am a doctor and more importantly that there are some excellent woman doctors and male nurses in the world. 

Disclaimer: The views expressed in the article above are those of the authors' and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of this publishing house